Book Review: I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You by Ally Carter

In honor of tween week, I thought I'd post about my FAVORITE tween series by Ally Carter.

Carter, Ally. I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You. New York: Hyperion, 2006.

I was just starting to get into the rhythm of our little game, when Mr. Solomon said, "Close your eyes," in Arabic.

We did as we were told.

"What color are my shoes?" This time he spoke in English and, amazingly, thirteen Gallagher Girls sat there quietly without an answer.

"Am I right-handed or left-handed?" he asked, but didn't pause for a response. "Since I walked into this room I have left fingerprints in five different places. Name them!" he demanded, but was met with empty silence.

"Open your eyes," he said, and when idid, I saw him sitting on the corner of his desk, one foot on the floor and the other hanging loosely off the side. "Yep," he said. "You girls are pretty smart. But you're also kind of stupid."

Cammie Morgan goes to a school for spies...though to the rest of the world, it looks like a school for girl geniuses. She speaks fourteen languages fluently, she could kill a man in seven different ways, and she could probably hack her way into any CIA computer.

What don't they teach at Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women? How to talk to boys.

So when Cammie meets a boy, she knows how to analyze his trash, follow him while staying "invisible," and write detailed reports about his behavior and what it means...but isn't quite sure how to talk to him.

This has to be one of the most adorable series out there right now. I freaked out when it took a whole day after the fourth book came out (which was Tuesday, by the way) to get it on ebook. Seriously, I started researching who to call at the publishing company to right this kind of injustice.

The characters definte the word "loveable," and the plot line is phenomenal. My favorite parts are when Cammie writes up detailed "summaries of surveillance" about Josh. I was honestly laughing out loud. And the best part? It's cute and sweet and absolutely, 100% squeaky clean. That, more than anything, is what makes me classify this as a perfect "tween" book. Will older teens love it? Of course. It's the perfect blend of "Alias" and "Princess Diaries." But it's also appropriate and accessible to younger girls that are looking to read up.

If you haven't read this series yet, I strongly recommend it. Straight fun from beginning to end. Also, don't miss Ally Carter's other equally fun series Heist Society.

Buy this book now!

Room on the Shelf: Tween Books

This post is also featured on Throwing Up Words blog.

I have heard recently from three different editors that they are not looking for, nor accepting, “tween” books…If your protagonist is 13, they advise either making him or her 12, and therefore middle grade, or 15, and therefore young adult.

I’m here to tell you that I think the editors are wrong.

We all know that kids read up. So for a true middle grade child, someone who’s around nine or ten, they want to read about a 12-year-old. And for a young teen, someone who’s 14 or 15, they’ll want to read about someone who’s 16 and up.

I hate to break it to you, but there is such a thing as a 11, 12, and 13-year old tween. And they like to read. And they’d love it if there were books for them.

Believe me, I know more than anyone what the problem is. There isn’t a place to shelve these kinds of books. And libraries and bookstores aren’t going to build a section for them…at least not until a huge blockbuster comes along that forces them to do so.

But in the meantime, half of the books are in the middle grade section and half of them are in young adult. The trend I’ve seen is that normally, the tween boy books are kept in middle grade (Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan, Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart, Bartimaeous Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud) while the tween girl books are shelved in young adult (Gallagher Girls by Ally Carter, Frog Princess by E.D. Baker, Once Upon a Time series by various authors.)

The root of this discrepancy, I think, is what I discussed in my last post: The fact that there are plenty of older middle grade books for boys, but a shocking lack of choices in young adult. The reverse is also true. There are not very many books available for older middle grade girls, but an incredible oversaturation of girly young adult books.

I think it’s time to change this. What will it take? A new S.E. Hinton (who is usually credited with creating the young adult genre.) We need an author that will take the tween world by storm.

Now the hard part is just writing it. Here are some pointers for what tweens are looking for:

1) Content: The content must still be just as squeaky clean as middle grade. These parents do not want their kids exposed to the “teen” world just yet. I recommend no swearing (no, not even a little!) and no mention of sex. If it’s a girly book, a few chaste kisses are fine.

2) Subplots: Include them. Normally there is a main plot and one subplot in middle grade, and there can be up to four subplots in teen (though four is really pushing it.) I would have two or three in a tween book. These kids are smart. They can handle it.

3) Character arcs: This is an essential. Most of middle grade has nice, friendly characters that tend to accomplish a life goal rather than change their actual personality. It works, because younger kids need to like the characters right away. In young adult, however, you often have characters that change so drastically that you can barely tell it’s the same voice. This works too, considering that teens change their personalities as often as they change clothes. But tweens? They’re still figuring out who they are, even more than teens. They don’t even know which “clique” they belong to yet. A character that reflects that uncertainty—and finds a way to resolve it—will find the respect of that crowd.

4) Humor: Quite frankly, I would not try to do anything edgy with this group. Someday, somewhere, I’m sure someone will pull it off. But for right now, I would try to steer clear and instead try to make them laugh. Tweens love sarcasm. That’s why the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books are still popular with them, even though that series is on a third grade reading level. I think appealing to their funny bone is a brilliant marketing move.

5) Action: And let me say it again: ACTION. This is not the place to get bogged down with pretty descriptions and detailed theme analyses. You are competing with the internet (which they probably just recently gained access to) and video games (many are now allowed to start buying the games rated “Teen.”) Your story has to be more compelling than either of those.

Now, does this give you an excuse to call your editor and tell her she’s an idiot for making you change than age of your protagonist? NO. Unfortunately, they probably still can’t sell your tween manuscript. But here’s hoping that someday soon someone will figure out a brilliant marketing move that will make Tween a legitimate genre.

The Other Views: Boys Reading YA

Now you’ve heard my opinion…want to know what other people are saying about boys reading? Here’s a few links.

When did YA books become YAwns for Boys?
http://bostonbookbums.wordpress.com/2010/05/18/when-did-ya-books-become-yawns-for-boys/
Great article about how publishers are only publishing teen books for girls.

Guys Read by Jon Scieszka
http://us.penguingroup.com/static/packages/us/yreaders/guysread/index.html
A site put together by Jon Scieszka, tackling this issue head-on. However, on the recommend list, there are very few books for teens.

Boys and Reading: Tips for Making Reading “Boy-Friendly”
http://www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2009/08/boys-and-reading-tips-for-making-reading-%E2%80%9Cboy-friendly%E2%80%9D.html
Even though this is more for younger boys, it still has useful tips (boys are visual learners, that’s why they like comics and manga…I never thought of that.)

Reading is for the boys (and girls)!
http://www.learnnc.org/lp/pages/676
An in-depth, scientific look at why boys don’t read, and what teachers can do about it.

YA Novels Teen Boys Will Like
http://www.childrensliteraturenetwork.org/resource/readlist/favya1.html
A look at some lesser-known titles that boys would read if they just knew about them from the Children’s Literature Network.

Library Thing: Do boys read?
http://www.librarything.com/topic/45803
If you want to join in a discussion about boys reading, here’s a good one.

Changing the Cover of YA books for Boys
http://tabwriter.blogspot.com/2010/03/changing-cover-of-ya-books-for-boys.html
A post about how boys won’t pick up covers with girls on them…Thank goodness they didn’t put Katniss on the front of Hunger Games, huh?

Keep Boys Reading
http://ink-spells.blogspot.com/2009/12/keep-boys-reading.html
This has an excellent list, reading levels included, for boys (though again, mostly for the middle grade group.)

Gender and Reading Habits Part One: Let’s Hear it For the Boys
http://www.comixology.com/articles/41/Gender-and-Reading-Habits-Part-One-Lets-Hear-it-for-the-Boys
Fascinating article comparing boys and YA with girls and comic books: boys don't read YA books, so YA books aren't created for them; girls don't read comics, so comics aren't created for them.

What Is It With YA Book Covers?
http://www.liakeyes.com/?p=1880
Another blog post bringing up the fact that no boys would be caught dead buying the girly covers seen on most teen books.

Thanks for participating in the discussion this week! Let me know if there are any great articles that I missed!

Book Review: Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz

In keeping with the week's theme, I thought I'd post a review of my favorite teen boy series, Alex Rider.

Horowitz, Anthony. Stormbreaker. New York: Penguin, 2000.

"The police said he wasn't wearing his seat belt." Alex turned to look at Jack.

She nodded. "Yeah. That's what they said."

"Doesn't that seem strange to you? You know how careful he was. He always wore his seat belt. He wouldn't even drive me around the corner without making me put mine on."

Jack thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, it is strange," she said. "But that must have been the way it was. Why would the police have lied?"

Alex's uncle Ian was killed in a freak car accident. Or at least that's what he's been told.

But if it was a car accident, why are there bulletholes on the side of the car?

Before he knows it, Alex is swept up in his uncle's world of secrets and espionage.

This series defines the term "action-packed." The pages just fly by. By the third chapter, you're trapped in a car that's about to be crushed into a cube. Phenomenal. It's sort of like a teenage James Bond.

Now, probably some of you are thinking, "Yeah, I saw the movie...not impressed." This is a perfect example of when the book is better than the movie. Don't let the movie stop you from reading this incredible, incredible book.

This is perfect for every single teenage boy out there. Reluctant readers, voracious readers, all of them. There are eight books in all, so it's a fantastic series to get them started on.

Buy this book now!

Room on the Shelf: YA Books for Boys

Every few days, I have the exact same conversation. A teenage boy comes in looking for recommendations. He’s read Percy Jackson, Fablehaven, and Harry Potter.

My first suggestions are always novels in the same genre, things like Suzanne Collin’s Underland Chronicles, Eoin Colfer’s Artemis Fowl, or Rick Riordan’s new Kane Chronicles.

Then I get this response: “Yeah…you know, Percy Jackson was great when I was twelve, but I’m actually sixteen now. Do you have anything…older?”

Short answer? Not really.

Here’s a quick list of the YA books that boys are buying:
1. Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
2. Maze Runner by James Dashner
3. Maximum Ride series by James Patterson
4. Alex Rider series by Anthony Horowitz
5. Cirque du Freak series by Darren Shan
6. Chronicles of Vladimir Tod by Heather Brewer

And that’s it. Really.

Now, I’ve heard a number of people say that teenage boys aren’t reading. I don’t think that’s true. They’re just not reading YA, because there aren’t enough books for them. They go straight from Brandon Mull to Michael Crichton, James Patterson, John Grisham and Robert Ludlum.

YA, on the other hand, is oversaturated with books for girls, particularly paranormal romance. And even the books that boy should like (Uglies, anyone?) have covers that look so ridiculously girly that no boy would be caught dead reading it.

What we’ve got to remember is that teenagers are all about appearance. Their entire existence revolves around “looking cool.” This is where I think e-readers can come in handy. No girlish cover, no dog-eared paperback, just the newest gadget. But that’s a discussion for another time.

What am I trying to say? Authors, editors, agents, we need books for teenage boys. Not just any books, but fantasy packed with action. Think about what someone would want to read after finishing Percy Jackson. Eragon used to fit the bill, but Christopher Paolini has taken so long between books that his audience has grown up.

In short, there’s room on the shelf. So get writing!

Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Conference 2010

Some of you may be wondering where I've been for the past week, and why the blog has suddenly gotten a facelift. Here's your answer!

Hint: You may or may not be able to see me sitting next to the brilliant Alane Ferguson, as her assistant, and you may or may not be able to see me demonstrating my hidden (and rightly so) talent of ribbon dancing.

Book Review: Airhead by Meg Cabot

Cabot, Meg. Airhead. New York: Scholastic, 2008.

"It's time to stop messing around. Who did this to you, Nikki? And be honest. Was it Al Qaeda?"

"Brandon!" Lulu shrieked from the kitchen.

"Well." Brandon shook his head. "If they want to strike a blow against freedom, why not go after the Face of Stark, one of America's most beloved models?"

"Al Qaeda doesn't know how to give people AMNESIA," Lulu declared, from behind the black granite-topped island. "Only the Scientologists have the technology to do that."

Brandon looked at me gravely. "Was it the Scientologists, Nikki?" he asked.

Em Watts is smart, funny, and...invisible. The only person who seems to even care that she exists is her best (and very cute) friend, Christopher. And even then, it's like she's nothing more than a fellow video gamer.

But then Em Watts is killed in a freak accident. When she wakes up again, she's no longer in her own body, but in that of supermodel Nikki Howard, surrounded by celebrities, rivals, round-the-clock paprazzi, and a boss who isn't above murdering his employees to get what he wants.

Suddenly, being invisible is the best lifestyle she could possibly imagine.

Took a little while to get going, but once it did, WOW! I loved the premise. I couldn’t put it down. It ends on a cliffhanger, so we have to wait for the next installment to get any satisfaction. Girls will love the fashion and the romance and the concept that someday they could wake up and be the most beautiful girl in the world.

One of my favorite aspects about it is the way she deals with popularity and beauty. Beauty, surprisingly, isn't looked down on. It's also not glamorized as the end-all be-all. It's an added bonus to a strong, bright protagonist. How much harder would it be to discover one's inner self-worth when the world judges you exclusively on your appearance? Once again, Meg Cabot has taken chick lit to a new level, and proved that you can have comedic romance with substance.

Buy this book now!

Book Review: Cirque Du Freak #3: Tunnels of Blood by Darren Shan

This book is the third in a series. To read my review of the first novel in this series (A Living Nightmare), click here. To read my review of the second novel in this series (The Vampire's Assistant), click here.

Shan, Darren. Cirque du Freak #3: Tunnels of Blood. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2003.

“Well?” she asked.
“Well what?” I replied.
“Aren’t you going to ask?”
“Ask what?”
“Ask me to go to a movie,” she said.
“But you just—”
“Darren,” she sighed. “Girls never ask boys out.”
“They don’t?” I was confused.
“You’re clueless, aren’t you?” She chuckled. “Just ask me if I want to go to the movies, okay?”
“Okay,” I groaned. “Debbie—will you come to the movies with me?”
“I’ll think about it,” she said, then unlocked the door and disappeared inside.
Girls!

Mr. Crepsley, Darren, and Evra the snake boy decide to take a little vacation from the Cirque Du Freak. For Darren and Evra, everything seems perfectly normal; Evra develops a disguise that will let him shop during the daytime, and Darren meets a girl.... But the two soon discover that Mr. Crepsley has darker ulterior motives for taking a break.

I'm liking this series more and more all the time! Such fun concepts. And now we finally get to see a little more of Crepsley's past, which up until now has been pretty much non-existant. We also get to see a little more of the vampire world, including the hierarchy and the rogue vampires (we all knew they must be around, right?)

There is still a considerable amount of violence. This is not a series for those who get nauseous at the thought of blood (i.e. me!) But if you have a teenage boy who shoots zombies down all day on the Xbox, these novels will be perfect.

Buy this book now!
Or buy the first three books in one volume!

Book List: My Fantasy Teen Recommends

Young Adult:
Fantasy:
Books of Bayern by Shannon Hale (currently four in series)
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George
The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner (currently 4 in series)
Once Upon a Time series by various authors, including Cameron Dokey
Incarceron by Catherine Fisher
The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey
Beastly by Alex Flinn
The Dark Divine by Bree Despain
Vampire Diaries series by L.J. Smith (currently 5 in series)
Airhead series by Meg Cabot (currently 2 in series)
Mediator series by Meg Cabot (6 in series)
Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

Book List: My Comtemporary Teen Recommends

Teen
Contemporary:

The Chosen One by Carol Lynch Williams
Everything is Fine by Ann Dee Ellis
Foresenic Mystery series by Alane Ferguson (currently 4 in series)
Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes by Chris Crutcher
Alex Rider series by Anthony Horowitz (currently 8 in series)
Flash Burnout by L.K. Madigan
I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You series by Ally Carter (currently 3 in series)
Heist Society by Ally Carter